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Too old to be young…Too young to be old..

A lousy day it was. She kept checking her mobile, time and again to see if she had received the long awaited message. But no luck. She kept reading the articles one after the other. It had been over a week since they both had talked. It being a Sunday, she was expecting his message if not a call. He had this bad habit of forgetting promises which she held tight upon. She did not mind it much, for him being the younger one!

Meanwhile, she received a msg saying, “kaise ho chotu?”

Before even the words would register in her mind, tears were brimming in her eyes, and soon found their way down her cheeks. She wondered why?

The whole day she remained silent. The word touched her deep within. As if someone gifted her a childhood. What a wonderful and unexpected gift. Totally priceless. All her attempts to ask and behave childishly were kept aside, because someone perceived her as a child, the way she was. With all her wisdom and maturity. She was no more a grown up girl at the age of 6. Neither a big girl to let go off her beloved Grandmom. Not pretending to be a clown of the family to make everyone laugh. Her wit was kept aside and so was her seriousness.

Her sour school-days came rushing from the memory lane. The years she had forgotten on the surface, but remained vivid in her memory. She was so fearful to admit to herself that she regretted attending that every painful days at school, but would never voice her heart. She decided to go on with the flow. She was conditioned to go that way. Never pose a question against the system, and be a good girl. Even though it hurt and crushed her completely. During the 10 odd years of schooling she kept looking for a motivation to attend school. Being a classic introvert, friends was not exactly the motivating factor. Teachers, well let’s not get into that. She certainly did not think of any pleasant incident from all those years. And wondered if she had wasted so many years of her precious life?

On the surface it certainly felt so. The years when a kid needs to develop his/her brain were questioned. Thanks to the early years at Abhinav, she remained sane throughout. But a decision probably changed her life. For good, if looked at it in retrospect. But wasn’t that pleasant while living all those years through. She shivered by a mere thought of it all. She felt proud of her younger self to have lived through all that mental torture so elegantly and fearlessly. The way she carved a small place for herself in the system and lived for herself.

She wasn’t sure if she was liked or disliked for being a brilliant kid at academics and sports. The mere feeling of attracting enemies, yes that’s how they seemed to her, she remained the underdog for all those years that went by. But managed excelling at a certain subjects, which she took the utmost care to under perform as the classes passed by. Her rebellious nature was corroding her from within. No one, just no one could see her. They saw her, yet did not read what kept going on inside the young girl. The same one, who seemed way too matured for her age. To such an extent that people forgot her age and never considered her a child but an young adult right since childhood. Yes, definitely a great thing. But the losing out on a childhood pained a lot more than understanding the happenings around. She preferred befriending people at least a decade older than her. She felt at peace. She understood them, yet they preferred to treat her as a small girl. She loved to spend time with groups of friends where she happened to be the youngest.

Her mobile beeped again, “Chotu, kaha gayab ho gaye?”

Tears kept rolling down her eyes. This time, tears of happiness. She gave herself a broad smile. A beautiful thought passed by her mind. She had probably read it somewhere before. But today she understood the meaning behind the profound sentence.

“It is never too late to have a happy childhood…”

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