So… Where do I begin? Like a new dawn, the whole process of ‘letting go’ has finally begun. Needless to say it is quite overwhelming. It all started with some of my newly made friend left from the Ashram. The very next day Mom and brother left, must’ve barely spent 50 hours with me here. Then more people left the day that followed. Another few left after that. Soon, new people occupied the sitouts which had familiar faces just the previous evening. People continued to leave, and now almost all the faces around me are different than the ones I saw on the day I walked in. This walking in and out of life is way too quick for me to assimilate on any level. I mean, how does one make and probably not break, but sort of move on in a matter of three days or maybe a week in some cases or a little more in other. I was surely bewildered before, but I guess I am pretty much dealing well with the fragile nature of friendships here, now that I have finally started writing about it all. And hey, we no more live in Stone Age, so we do have Facebook to our rescue. Staying connected is rather easy, and I have started to have homes in different parts of the world. Yes, you may envy me!

As I am turning to pen down this complex fluid feelings I am having about the entry and exit of people within a blink of an eye, someone is playing the harmonium and teaching the basics of Indian Classical Music. Someone is washing the utensils of the temple and the bells are accidentally ringing, that too in melodious manner along with other metallic clinking. Some birds are chirping away. A worker lady just exchanged an absolutely warm smile with me. I now realise, some things are going to remain the same at the Ashram, no matter how many people come and go. This cozy corner in temple. The evening chanting and Pooja here. Most importantly, the unchanging daily schedule, which gently provides discipline here. These shall continue to give me company whenever I come and visit Ashram here.

Moreover, today during Asana class I noticed one thing in particular that I have finally managed to let go of the inhibitions and I could perform the same postures with greater involvement and focus. It is all in the mind, but let us also give some credits to the removing of my glasses during practice. Removing them seems more liberating, than otherwise. I have read about a thousand times, how mind is the greatest hurdle, but until my body put it in practice I couldn’t really understand on a deeper physical level the meaning of letting go. Free flowing. Not really comparing myself to others and being engrossed in my own practice, and strive to deepen a little more every time I practice. I hope I am doing pretty well at it and thoroughly enjoying the process. Yes, I certainly do have my lows. Like absolutely low. But being alone also teaches you how to let go of it all, and keep living the moment you are in, one after the other.

While I was travelling back to my lows, the workers have finished their duties here, and are chanting as a part of their routine, “Om Namo Narayanaya”, to the background music of the rustling of leaves for which the cool breeze is solely responsible. The dark clouds remind me of the meditations of last couple of days. The cleansing or detox or the letting go of deeper untouched feelings might have begun, for I have been shedding uncontrollable tears while meditating which often carried onto Satsang. The sleep has become all the more deep, and my inner clock has set at waking up at 4:55AM everyday. The long breaks between the two main meals are not putting any kind of pressure on my acidity prone system. It is like every cell in my body is in harmony, and happily Resonating with perfect timings by the clock. I have almost mentally let go of the spices and overly stimulating foods ever since I’ve come here. I do miss my secret 3:00AM maggi preparations, but I guess that is because I am missing my brother to share it with me. Or maybe troubling him to prepare it for me. Surprisingly I’m not really having any food cravings as such and I guess that means I am doing fairly well here. Though untimely chai in the temple is always welcome. Psst, I am secretly awaiting some currently.

Om Shanti.

Love and Peace,
Pournima.