“Loving yourself means being your own best friend, standing by yourself at all times, including times of failure; being there for yourself no matter what.”
-Anita Moorjani

Having always been termed as the matured child in any room, for years I conflicted with the idea of Inner Child. Coming to terms with the goofiness and childlike characteristics of mine, has been a fun journey in itself. Always been expected to be the well behaved, prim and proper, calm and composed child, I have often resisted the temptations to dance around in public. Play in the mud. Be carefree and wild.

I find myself crazier and more in touch with my carefree and childlike innocent nature now, than I’d probably have been in my childhood itself. I sing and dance around the house. Let myself be pampered by those who love me. Be more closer and in tune with nature. Into my sporty and athletic energy, which I so enjoyed in my childhood. Back then, I focused more on winning, and now, I’m learning to focus more on playing. The playfulness of a child feels rekindling and so does the desire to be a wonderful parent. A parent to the child, who wants to play, sing and dance. A carefree parent, who would let the child be by itself, yet never feel neglected.

I’m learning to give love, and most importantly receive it. We’ve continually been reading so many articles and quotations that talk highly about giving love. Loving thy neighbour. Loving your family. Loving your friends. Loving your country. Loving your state. Culture, traditions, heritage and what not! But we never for once have been taught back in childhood, till date, about loving ourselves. Loving ourselves so much, that we stop and pay attention on receiving love.

We have never considered being the neighbour, that our neighbour loves. A human, our society loves. A citizen our country loves. A daughter or sister, our family loves. A lover, our lover loves. A spouse, our spouse loves. We’ve conditioned to believe that the virtue has always been about being the giver. So much so, that we’ve been running dry, having poured out every ounce of love that we once carried, as children, brimming with love, joy and laughter.

Day after day, we walk through our routines as if it was a chore, to live life. I have seen soulless people standing at the traffic signal, lacking the radiance and vibrance in their being. We trudge through our lives, and while laying on our deathbed, we often are filled with a lot of regret. Regrets for not spending a little more time doing things that would have filled ourselves up. Taken time to delve deeper into our being, and finding out the things that made us genuinely happy. Painting or colouring a design. Dancing in the rain. Running after a butterfly. Playing with a puppy. Listening to birds chirp. Making a paper boat into the puddles. Or simply watch a caterpillar wriggle away. Having a hearty laugh at ridiculous jokes. Cry our eyes out for not having things go our way. Cry on our friend’s shoulder. Or be there for them, and hold space when they cry. Embrace, and experience emotions fully, without judging ourselves.

“Spirituality does not have to be serious. You are spirituality. Fun laughter heal you faster than anything. Introduce fun back into your life.”
-Anita Moorjani

I have been extremely judgemental and critical of myself. I still am. But, the difference today is, I’m aware of the times I criticise myself, or find myself being judgemental about myself of others around me. I feel, the very first step towards accepting anything, is to notice it or acknowledge it first. That’s how we know what needs to be released. At the same time, we’ve been working too hard to keep looking for flaws in us, that we often forget to celebrate the joy that we bring to the table. We have innate talents, and skills that are pretty hard to replace. And all of it makes each one of us unique, for each one has a unique mix of it all.

Recently, I have been reading a lot about re-parenting our inner child. That initially sounded quite ridiculous to me. I find myself quite a sorted person, which definitely is a result of the parenting I received as a child. Then what could be the need for the re-parenting our inner child?

As a matter of fact, each one of us walk into this world with a set of beliefs, often limited beliefs that hold us back in our endeavours. What served as our primal responses to deal with certain situations as coping mechanism, render rather useless as an adult. Yet these often dictate us, while we are in a boardroom, arguing over an issue, in the most primal instincts. Many adults are seen throwing tantrums, while things don’t go their way, while others find it hard to let down their walls and wallow in their own pain. We all are at times (or almost always), overgrown children, wanting to be heard. Wanting to be loved. Cared. And above all, accepted for the way we are.

As we grow up into adulthood, in some way, we lose the need to continue blaming our initial conditioning. We are very much having the capacity to embrace our challenges, and address them head on. Yet, it often doesn’t work, for the child within us, prevents us to go that way. The child is often too scared, angry or sad to do certain things. It may be confrontations in relationships, or handling a situation in a traffic jam. Taking no as an answer for our brightest idea, or having a loved one gone. We often act out of our childhood behaviours, and that is when we feel the need to really ‘grow up’.

As I write this, it is more like a self-realisation of the need, for going into the behaviours and beliefs, that trigger the current emotions that surface with the slightest of triggers. What might seem insignificant for some, might be soul crushing for the other. Because the way we all are wired in our brains. And the good news is, it all can be changed. This very idea, gives me immense hope and will to get up and do something that makes me feel better. I have never been someone who would keep my foot in a dull environment, and let myself get bored. I am always up to something or the other. Good or bad, my life has always been quite happening. But that eventfulness for some other day.

I keep talking a lot about self-love, self-care, self-respect and self-help. It all start with self, for that is where the real power resides. The whole idea about loving our inner child, is to experience multiple facets of self-love. It would look different on each one of us. For some, it might be taking care of their bodies. Eating well, exercising regularly and taking Divine care of the temple we reside in. For others, it may look like disappointing others, to respect oneself, and not letting people walk all over you. It may be pursuing a hobby class, or sleeping and resting an hour extra every day. Sometimes it is the indulgence in our seemingly sinful cravings, while other times, it might be refraining to go the way down self destructive acts. Self love is standing up for ourselves, our ideas, even though no one believes in them. It is also, letting ourselves flow freely with the current. Self love can be choosing to be with certain people, while other times, letting go of those who continuously pull you down. Self love is every ounce of gratitude we can possibly feel, in the face of turmoil. While self love is also something that lets us experience pain completely, in order to heal and rise again. Self love is all about looking into the mirror at yourself, deep into our eyes and smiling to the soul that resides within us. A knowingness of the needs that this soul brings to surface through our emotions. Putting ourselves the top priority. Each. And. Every. Time.

“Love yourself like your life depends on it, because it does.”
-Anita Moorjani