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- Pournima Barhate
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The very first image that comes to my mind hearing the word freedom is the eve of Independence Day right back in 1947! And I believe freedom is exactly what it was experienced then and perceived of it now. Even though the country was technically free, not all the people experienced the feeling!
Freedom is more or less a mental block, or a state of mind. If you believe you’re free, you are! And true otherwise. Even though we’re said to have given freedom of speech, or on a subtle level freedom of thoughts, we are never taught how to use it wisely. Most of the times, we’re unaware of our freedom. We ourselves put shackles in our feet and tie ourselves down. We dread to dream of soaring high into the sky and breathe in air on our will.
I am no different than anyone else. I have already berated myself so many times, that there came a point when I thought there was just no good in me. Even though being raised up in so-called ‘free’ atmosphere, I never experienced what freedom is. For I myself interpreted other’s behaviours such a way that it resulted in a low self-esteem and accepting the fact of me being a simpleton.
But it is amazing how destiny holds wonderful surprises for us. A simple dream one night changed my outer dream. I simply declared to break free. And supports started magnetically attracting towards me. As if it was all pre-decided. New people got in touch. The parasites sucking life out of me let loose. I could experience the newly discovered ‘freedom’, or let’s say the newly defined freedom! And I surely treasure it more than ever. Delicately and handled with utmost care.
Our set patterns are so strong, that one tends to get back to the feeling of being controlled by others. Not knowing I travelled backwards, and got back where I started. The whole refreshing tiny journey seemed futile, and wasted. Building courage takes time and efforts and persistence, but a moment is enough to loose it all. I had lost it, and had given up hopes, and a thought of leaving it all often touched me! Yet survival is the sole aim of existence of human, served true! Emotional bottoms can be revived by this amazing feeling named ‘faith’! The faith in seeing a brighter future turned stronger each day. Even though the surroundings were pretty sad, a new day had dawned yet again. A second chance to revive and sail ashore. I certainly took a chance, and life was never the same!
I cannot put in exact words the feeling I had then. More of a helplessness and the feeling of unloved grew in my mind like a cancer. Killing it out would have taken time, and determination. Changing life long thought patterns is certainly a task! But my instinct to take up this particular challenge that had come my way! My adventurous nature was surging within me, and calling me near to my true self. I was already having the feeling of being at home!
How interesting it is, that we are always in search to find ways n means to get to our likings. Is this what ‘freedom’ feels like?
August 15, 2016 /
Great write up this.