“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

— Brene Brown

In this world that celebrates independence to a point of breakdown, today I talk about asking for help. All the unusual ways we undertake to cry out for help. Yet most of it often goes unheard, only to complicate things further.

We’ve often seen children throwing tantrums. Crying out loud at the most inconvenient places and at a seemingly wrong time. What may seem rather cute at a certain age, might look outright shameful at a later age, as an adult. Adults throwing tantrums at executive meetings, in the middle of a crossroad or after a call with the in-laws! We’ve experienced it all.

Recently, I caught myself in this similar act, and gently enquired, who is it that is upset over a rather simple incident in life? It felt like a young five or six year old me, who desperately needed the attention of my parents. The moment I realised my behaviour wasn’t what a mature adult would do, it suddenly melted before my eyes. The very fact I could acknowledge the pain of my younger self, felt like a warm hug for that little afraid girl.

What can we do about this seemingly simple yet invisible aspects of our lives? Here are some simple steps that can help you, help yourself:

Ask for help

While we celebrate independence, healthy dependence is rarely talked about. We’re quick to extend help, yet find it awkward to ask for it. It is time we remind ourselves that, when we ask for help, we give the others a gift to be able to help us. Which is priceless. It might as well a task you could do by yourself, yet it is worth trying this out!

Create a self-soothing ritual

Self-soothing is a form of calming down, with the help of touching a body part. May it be stroking hands on face, arms or thighs , or running fingers through one’s hair. This kind of physical touch helps increase oxytocin levels and helps one calm their nerves, resulting in a relaxed mental state and handling the task at hand in a competent way.

Safe space

Creating a safe space for oneself, and also for others is a really important aspect of asking for help, as well as enabling others to extend support when they see us low. Showcasing vulnerability is a healthy way of initiating connection with others around us.

Movementation

Movements mixed with meditation, gives you movementation. Gentle movements like in dance, yoga or other forms of stretching, help body regulate its nervous system. If paired with soothing music, this can be a transforming experience, and a beautiful time of the day to rejuvenate oneself. You can also light some incense to enhance the experience.

Conscious deep breathing

Lastly, the most important part of any and every issue in life, to bring back and focus our attention to our breath. Taking deep and conscious breaths, with the help of your diaphragm. Also known as abdominal breathing, this can help one calm down in the toughest of the situation, and often overlooked for the simplicity of this, we tend to overcomplicate things.

We often cry for help in the most unusual ways. Being accident prone, and constantly getting into trouble. Wearing revealing or dazzling clothes to be seen and acknowledged. Blaring our horns (at times literally) in the hopes of others listening to us. Spoiling the perfect relationship, because smooth sailing relation seems unsafe. We’re full of paradoxes, and yet the very need to be helped and rescued remains unmet. We are meant to develop healthy dependency with others. One cannot always be the helper, giver or doer.

“We don’t have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.”

— Brene Brown