“When we tackle obstacles, we find hidden reserves of courage and resilience we did not know we had. And it is only when we are faced with failure do we realise that these resources were always there within us. We only need to find them and move on with our lives.”
-A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

How much pain can an individual endure? I would always remind myself of this thought whenever migraine attack paid me a visit. We were like the long lost lovers, awkwardly meeting time and again, inflicting pain onto each other. Headaches were a part of my identity. Don’t we hold our ailments ever so lovingly, close to our hearts?

I started writing this article, almost fifteen days ago. I felt I had seen and felt enough, to speak a little on looking at the brighter side of the things. Turns out, these fifteen days had way too many things awaiting for me to learn. I was up for an immensely powerful learning. Something I’m going to carry for the rest of my life. Something that changed me as a person. And something that marks a before and after.

Resilience is something one just cannot read, hear or borrow. One needs to realise it only through experience. The interesting part is, if you ask the higher power for some quality, she ensures you learn it quite thoroughly. May it be resilience on any level. Physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. All level need absolutely different and unique versions of us. And diverse experiences shape each aspect of the same quality. Keeping the mind calm in the midst of chaos, is something that cannot be mastered in the still waters. On the contrary, asking someone to simply ‘calm down’ and ‘take it easy’, by any well meaning person who is outside the turbulent waters, is the worst advice one could ever receive. As I choose to touch on this topic, I wonder how vulnerable am I choosing to be. Maybe not at all. May be slightest of bit. The courage that is required to call oneself or loved (!) ones out is not something I’ve mastered as yet. I allow it to take its own sweet time.

I feel scared. My ultimate heroes inspire me to stand up for myself, and for those who feel unsure to stand firm on their own feet. But for now, let me just talk for myself. What have I learnt about resilience? Looking at the brighter side. Focusing on the silver lining. How quickly have I recovered from all or any of the seemingly extreme setbacks? May it be a fatal or seemingly fatal accident? How much pain can a human body endure? Can we expect ongoing laborious pains that last two longest months? Or serial heartbreaks to a point of frustration, if not depression? What about recovering from a trauma? Maybe a couple of them? Or maybe some more? Constant migraine attacks? Occular migraine? Maybe monthly, weekly or even daily? What do we equip ourselves with, in our younger years? We often grow up absolutely unperturbed and suddenly have to look straight in the eye of danger, or fear, or grief or pain. How much would a soul get laid on its plate? What kind of a higher calling would that be? Quite higher than what I had imagined.

We often romanticise the idea of rising like a phoenix bird, but often overlook the story of falling into the ashes, and the downfall. We read a lot of quotes and feel inspired, by reading about people being buried into darkness and vividly imagining it all to be as being planted as a seed, into the black fertile soil, awaiting germination. Spreading our roots and shoots in all direction and rising into the world with all the more zest for life.

Growth is the reverse force against the mighty gravitational pull. One needs insane amount of grit and determination for something like that. I have been trying to learn, study and understand what the craziness around is trying to trigger within me. Or if all my learning have gone well, and being put to test. It feels nothing but my internal turbulence, that is being reflected outside, or me being judgemental towards something. I’m learning to rise above it all, and continue looking towards the bright shining sun.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It’s what sunflowers do.”
-Helen Keller