There are days when you just prefer being left alone. You neither can neglect your emotions nor face them. Just a hanging-in-between it is..

Life is going wonderfully well, when you’re sudden jolted back due to some happening. And its like never before, the way you see things. Probably too glad to be simply alive through all of it. Some ask me if it is so serious to talk of lifen death situation, but hey did you live my life? Then you just can’t know or try to know the way I feel. I am me, and well that’s what makes my experiences different than yours. And so is your perspective towards it!

The picture of you in the yellow shirt is still as fresh as, it just happened yesterday! Calling from your phone..and then calling on your phone. You just transformed my life. Did your life change too? I don’t know why after resolving almost a thousand times of not talking to you, I end up addressing this all to you?!

I see love struck friends, and travel back in time imagining the brief moments spent with you. May it be a small walk, or simply a pick up and drop! A ride worth a lifetime, and much more. The lonely roads that I travel now thru, look dry even when washed with rain water. Are YOU the missing moisture? Why are my eyes dry again, and I don’t cry for longing towards you? Did you walk off with my very own tears? I know I promised not to cry for you, but hey isn’t it fine once in a while? 

Your songs still mingle around me! My vow of not singing anymore, m breaking now. For I know music would make us inseparable in that imaginary world of ours, where we weaved millions of dream together to get a warm blanket to draw on while feeling the way I am right now!

I am sitting inside the blanket, yet feeling so cold. My hands and feet are at a verge of getting numb. My eyes look lost when I look around just to feel you in the air. You’ve gone with the wind, but I can still smell your scent, when I think of being close to you. The rhythm of your heartbeats I can still sing on. The most beautiful thing you taught me, was to sing for oneself. May it be off beat, of perfectly on! Though your ‘promises’ were lost in the sands of time. The more I tried holding on to them, you slipped off my fingers. Finally when I opened my fist, I found nothing but a few remaining grains of sand sticking on.

Do you ever feel like talking to me? Or maybe finding out how I am? Or are you so sure, that I am always okay without you? Does my smile deceive you? Can’t you peep into my eyes, and figure out what I might be feeling? But will you even come before me, to look into the eyes you loved the most? Don’t you wanna wipe off the smeared kajal off my eyes? Its not the way that drags it down, its just that the hard held tears pull it down while rolling off my cheeks.

But hey, are you feeling m complaining too much? But somewhere back of my mind, I know m imitating you. Which frankly I don’t want to! I knew you cared for me. Maybe much more than I could’ve ever imagined. So much that you left me bewildered amidst this journey. I have no complaints, and I mean it. For I know you’ve contributed a major part in making me the way I am today! More practical, yet compassionate towards feeling of ‘love’!

Makes me value the feeling, more than the word now. I have finally understood the meaning of showing love than simply saying it loud. Staying away, yet being emotionally connected makes me strong and weak at the same time. I try to search you in every passing man. But I know you’re miles away living a different life altogether. Where I have no place, besides lingering by in your thoughts.

I still am a child, who needs to be cared, yet more grown up than what you’ve seen me as. A missed call bothers me less now. But a missed person, you, are bothering me as the countdown has started to speed up. I so wished a date would just vanish off the calendar, and I resume it in my favour. Selfish I am, just in your case. For I don’t know how to love lesser than this.