As i concluded my day in my diary, i couldnt help but feel a warm feeling wash over me. Was it one of those days which i had always wished for..?

 Signing my name today felt truly magical! I felt something different withing me! I could sense that i had mastered that one thing at last…at least i was on the right path for sure…in spite of things around me being just the same…it was ME who was different! nothing special happened really! but there was this petty enlightened feeling that overcame the others! I had this warm feeling within…that no matter what…there is this one [person who’d always be by my side in any damn situation…come what may…

I kept staring at the closed diary for a while n smiled! for it had remained with me since i was so small to write what Vallarie’s ajji said to me…till today when i have so many things going unsaid everyday! those tiny unsaid things prick you from within, every time you feel the hurt the close ones give you… but for this time…it is solely my diary who listens to that every bit of thorny feeling which eventually have a rose towards its tip!

The rose reminded me of the time i rushed to the florist to buy a rose…filmy i used to call it…but a pretty way to end up dispute..i thought! Yellow seemed the safest of all! it surely was! Flowers surely lift up your spirits! Self made disputes… times when proved wrong… times when turned down… times when hurt beyond limits… and the velvety rose can set things right! isn’t that great? or a licence to commit more mistakes n soothe with the flower? not reasonable enough!

remembered the time…when I felt like writing some more… My diary looked surprised…for it was after months i had written….and 5 pages were already done… what more to write? what answer was i looking for? The feeling of betrayal by a friend had hurt more than ever… I wanted to ask for the explanation… but the mended relations would shake to the roots! just so clueless i was… Gibberish going on in n out of my head… kept scribbling thru my diary…

Suddenly a surge of emotions got the best of me… hands gained sudden energy and the scribbling started into engraving… my diary cried out…but i was too violent to pay any heed to what it might have felt… the most treasured and protected diary was being torn into bits.. neither me not my diary had seen me so furious… the pen gave up…n broke itself… and there was a prolonged pause…

what have i done to myself? a matter less than a wee bit of importance was the reason of spoiled relations with all the people around me… and everyone pointing back towards me… yes…it was me initially… but not anymore… I am me

…and no one else…

i washed my face… and consoled myself… the anger subsided as i could feel myself breathing normally again… What anger does to man! My diary managed a pitiful  grin.. i smiled back to her… holding her close to me… tore those unfriendly pages off n cleaning the mess… Remembered the Jab We Met idea! thought of giving it a try… how would it be burning off your pains into ashes… some happiness hidden in the cruelty? why not try?! there it went into ashes and flushed down… ugh! relieved! really! indeed!!!

I got out for a walk…a brisk one… loud music in my ears… no more thoughts…just some random music to drift me away… that always helps! to just be with yourself! the best company ever! no expectations no complaints… and no one lies to you… all you get is the right answer…always…

but when it comes to others… things ain’t the same! wrong answers are harmful for them… at least when the wrong one is emotionally blackmailed as THE right one… but you know what? your gut feeling is ALWAYS right… whatever it may be…the faintest idea is the strongest one! one must learn to trust your instincts…as they never lie…nor misguide you… they always point towards the truth… how so ever bitter it might be…

Today, i only remember those three words often said,

“truth shall prevail…”